upgraders:

It’s weird that pirates would go from shore to shore looking for buried treasure when the real treasure was in the friendships they were making

krvsty:

i do this cute thing where i zone out when you’re talking and then say ‘huh’ after 15 seconds

meladoodle:

first rule of fight club is no fighting, this is actually contradiction club, take a seat and don’t take a seat, also this isn’t contradiction club

rabioheab:

Oscars Drinking Game

• take a shot every time seth macfarlane doesn’t make you laugh
• don’t do this you are going to die

worldfamousprofessor:

spelling bee moderator: contestant 142, your word is “fergalicious”

contestant: *looks around nervously* um… could i please have a definition?

moderator: *flips through dictionary* “fergalicious. definition: make them boys go loco.”

punchgod:

‘you’re saying things at me and i dont know how to respond’ a novel by me

phriend:

fun prank: replace sugar packets at restaurants with cocaine